expect the unexpected
by dontjudgeabookbyitsmovie
Summary: The only thing more annoying than her older brother Jonathon? Jace Herondale. The only person who somehow manages to weasel his way into her heart like a worn into an apple? Jace, you freaking guessed it, Herondale.


**OKAY THIS IS WEIRD BUT EVERYBODY READ MY NOTE ON THE BOTTOM WHEN YOU'RE DONE, OKAY I LOVE YOU ALL.  
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**LEGGO.**

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><p>"JONATHAN CHRISTOPHER FRAY!" I scream, running down the stairs. He is going to face the wrath of Clary Fray.<p>

I burst into the open kitchen, fuming. If this was a cartoon, I'd be as red as my hair with steam blowing out of my ears. Jonathan sits at the table, surrounded by his pack of rats. Well, they weren't actually rats, but with the way they acted they weren't far off. I glare at the ring of testosterone, sitting there eating cereal as if they weren't all about to be dead in the next five minutes.

Jonathan turns his face towards mine, an innocent expression plastered on. I should learn how to do that, that way the police won't suspect me when I murder him.

"Yes, dear sister? He asks cheerfully. Oh hell no.

"WHAT IS THIS?" I scream, shoving a piece of paper in his face. He takes it from my hand and pretends to study it, but I see the laughter in his dark, cruel, sadistic eyes. Okay, maybe they weren't sadistic, but you should see him playing Call of Duty. Shit goes down.

"This is one of your drawings, isn't it?" in fact, one of your personal favorites, if I remember correctly." Jonathan deadpans. I give him my best im-going-to-kill-you-slowly-with-razorblades-while-laughing glare, and he hides the small grin that's threatening to break through. Smile while you can asshole. "Yes, it is one of my favorites. But, I don't remember it quite like this. Do you, Jonathan?"

"Why, I don't notice anything wrong with it, do you Jordan?" Jonathan asks Jordan, the hazel eyed boy on his right. He looks up from his bowl of Cornflakes and studies the drawing briefly.

"No Jonathan, I don't see a difference." He says, mock seriousness filling his deep voice. I growl slightly, getting closer and closer to drowning each and every one of them in their damned cereal. Honestly, it would just be a waste of effort. I'm about ready to give up, when I notice Alec out of the corner of my eye, trying to stay low, hoping I won't notice him. Too late sucker, too late.

I round on him, smiling evilly at his terrified expression. Alec was always my favorite; not only is he the nicest, but he's gorgeous with deep blue eyes and jet black hair. Too bad he's taken. And gay.

"Alec, why don't you take a look at it, tell me if you notice something." I say sweetly. I pull a chair out and sit backwards on it, handing Alec the drawing. He gulps nervously and takes the drawing, studying it with scared blue eyes. It was a drawing of a sleeping angel, with cheeks rosy red and ringlets of gold spilled across its shoulder. Wings spread wide, it floated in a black abyss with the illusion of a single spotlight trained on them. It had taken me hours, and I had it pinned on my wall with tons of other drawings that I was most proud of. Although, when I woke up this morning, I noticed some a little, let's say different about them.

"Uh- I-I don't see anything wrong with it." Alec stutters. I raise both eyebrows- despite my hours of practicing, I couldn't only raise one- and give him my best serial killer stare. "So you're saying that Jonathan and everybody else at this table did not sneak into my room last night and disfigure this drawing, along with all the others I have on my walls?"

Alec kept stuttering and glancing around at the rest of the table, who were giving him desperate looks. Too late idiots, I've got you. Finally, after one more glare, he caves.

"I didn't do anything, it was all them, and Jonathan did most of it!" he says desperately, pleading at me with those gorgeous blue eyes. I knew it! I smile triumphantly, turning to the rest of the table. They were all groaning, shooting glares at Alec who looks like he wants nothing more than to disappear.

Jonathan however, looks as if he's trying hard not to smile. I am literally so tempted to pour his cereal bowl on his head, but then Mom would get on my case for staining her wood floor. But still, his reaction would be so funny…

Nah, it isn't worth the wrath of Jocelyn Fray. She was a lot like me, and that alone should anybody off the idea of making her angry, including me.

I groan and glare at all of the idiots, causing them to stifle their groans and instead direct their angry glares towards Alec. I decide to go the dramatic route, maybe I could get them to cave and apologize, maybe even make Jonathon feel bad. I sniffle, changing my murderous expression to one of heartbreak.

"Honestly, you guys are cruel. Where do find the joy in disfiguring my drawings? What have I ever done to you? All that hard work, gone to waste? You know, I've never been athletic, or popular, but-" I clutch the paper to my chest, willing tears to come to my eyes. "Art? That was the one thing I had." A dry sob racks my chest. "And you monsters took that from me." I let out a wail, burying my face in the ruined photo and pretend sobbing. After a solid minute, I peek up at them through the tears I masterfully summoned to my eyes. Those sons of bitches are laughing.

Jonathan pretends to peer intently at the marred photo in my hands, stroking his chin. "I don't know Clary, I think the coconut bra and hula skirt really add to the drawing." Despite his attempt at seriousness, he trails off into choked laughter as soon as the words are out of his mouth, while the others snort into their cereal, obviously trying to be more discreet. I hear another familiar laugh behind me, and I spin to see Jace Herondale, king of the assholes, leaning against the wall.

Jace Herondale, how do you describe him? He was gorgeous; with a tan most surfers are jealous of, a lean, muscled physique, golden curls that were always messed up, and the strangest yet most gorgeous gold eyes. He was the image of perfect, and he knows it.

His ego was as big as the line of girls he had fawning over him. Unfortunately, he and Jonathan were the two most attractive males at school (according the female populace, people actually thought Jonathan was hot; they obviously needed there eyes checked) and also best friends since birth. I had sadly been stuck with both of them since childhood. Jonathan wasn't much of the date and diss type (If you can call what Jace does 'dating') and had actual girlfriends, but Jace was the meaning of man-whore. And none of the girls seemed to care. Everywhere you went in school, you heard his name being whispered about, girls giggling about him in the bathroom, doodling his name on notebooks, and sucking his face off in the middle of hallways.

I had never seen the appeal. Sure, he was hot, but how did girls stick around after hearing him speak? He never hid his arrogance; in fact he flaunted it as if it was something to be proud of. And yet, he was still attractive to them after that? It took a special kind of stupid to pull that off.

And now, the same ass hat was standing in front of me, laughing at my rage. "Calm down Red, I can't even tell your face from your hair anymore." Jace and I also happened to be mortal enemies since I was 6 when he told me I could be Pippy Long Stockings' more annoying twin sister. You know, details.

I stomp up to him and shove him hard in the chest, although he doesn't budge. The perks of being 5'5, ain't life grand? "You did this Goldilocks!" I yell, craning my neck to give him a death stare. It wasn't too comfortable, considering he had a solid foot of height on me. Yet another bonus of being tiny; call now and we'll throw in a lifetimes worth of leprechaun jokes for free!

He's still shaking with laughter, but throws up his arms in mock defense. "Oh come on, relax Lucy! Jonathan put us up to it, claiming it was 'revenge' for something! And who would I be to refrain my help, to a poor, helpless friend?" Jace's voice is upset, pleading with me to understand his oh-so reasonable reasons for helping the spawn I called my brother. I'm too busy internally screaming at the reference to Lucille Ball he's been using for years.

I turn back to Jonathan, who's now sniffling. "I must say, thank you so much for your help against my cruel, merciless little sister. You're too kind." He wipes a fake tear away from his dark eyes. Oh yeah, keep practicing whore, I'm about to make you cry for real.

Although, I do remember what Jonathan is probably getting revenge for. The other day for a laugh I had walked up to him in school, holding a folded piece of blank paper. He had been talking to a couple of girls, and I had interrupted there conversation and told him with the fake overjoyed face I could manage that his girlfriend's {who I had named Gertrude- lovely German name is you ask me} pregnancy results came to the house, but I grabbed them before our parents could read it- they were twins! The girls had looked at him in disgust and left as quickly as they could.

I can't help laughing at the memory. Jonathan had been so mortified he had frozen for a good minute. I was digging out my phone, all ready for a photo, until he snapped out of his horrified trance and threatened my life. I had just skipped away, obviously not thinking of Jonathan's revenge. Let's just say, Frays have a pretty big 'wrath' problem, and our rage was something to fear. And this was obviously some half-assed attempt to get me back. Oh well, this was in no way over.

I give one final glare to Jace and Jonathan. I was pretty sure the rest of the idiots didn't do much. Jordan, Alec, Sebastian, all who Jonathan had known for a long time, had helped with the petty pranks in our sibling war, but not as much and not for as long as his long time best friend Jace has. They were okay, considering Jace and Jonathan were pretty much the mains forms of pain and annoyance in my life. They were usually poor bystanders most of the time.

Shaking the crumpled paper at them all angrily, I stomp one of my feet and try to ignore the pitifully small sound it makes against the wood. Damn you fuzzy purple socks. "You will pay for this- all of you!" I declare, ready to set fire to them all right now. Jonathon rolls his eyes, and I'm heavily debating whether or not to shove that spoon up his ass. But first, coffee.

I turn to the kitchen and walk over to the coffee maker. Grabbing a mug, I pick up the pot and smile sweetly at everybody sitting at the table. I slowly pour the coffee in my mug without looking, my sweet stare flitting between everybody at the table. Once my mug is filled, I look at the coffee and slowly back at the table, tilting my head to the side and give my creepiest stare. Without breaking eye contact I take a long sip, smiling as I put the mug down. "Oh look, it's black, like my soul." I say innocently, watching with silent glee as everybody gulps and shoots nervous glances at each other. For a group of guys who have played football for most of their lives, they were a bunch of sissies.

Did I mention Jonathan was the captain of the schools football team that Jace and the rest of the guys played on? Yeah, I'm surprised everybody's ego actually fit in the kitchen.

I pick up the half drained mug and skip out of the kitchen, singing Ring around the Rosie under my breath. Jonathan and Jace aren't scared as much, used to my creepy tendencies by now, but Jonathan still looks as unsettled as everybody else. I'm half sure that Sebastian is muttering a prayer underneath his breath. Jace is the only one who's still smiling, bowing mockingly as I walk out of the kitchen. I make my way up the stairs, just catching Sebastian mutter something similar to Amen. Oh, trust me; Jonathan should be way more nervous right about now.

I throw open my door and flop onto my bed, determined not to look at the rest of the disfigured drawings. They all had some weird addition, ranging from coconut bras to mermaid tails to devil horns. Those idiots couldn't even be any more creative? I grab my phone and scroll down to Isabelle's number. She was one of my closest friends, and luckily my next door neighbor. She was also Alec's sister, and thankfully hated the lot as much as me. I press call and tap my foot impatiently, waiting for her to answer.

"Hey Clary, are you almost ready?" Isabelle answers. I glance at the clock and curse. I'm going to be later for work. I know, most 16 year olds don't have jobs, but Isabelle and I had needed spending money. Alec's wonderful sparkly boyfriend, Magnus, offered us waitress jobs at Java Jones, the coffee shop he managed. I have to start at 8:30, and it was already 8. Curse Jonathan and his pack of rats. I get up and head to my closet, my phone balanced between my ear and shoulder.

"I'm getting ready right now; Jonathan and rest of the idiots snuck in last night and ruined all my drawings I had on the wall." I can practically see Isabelle roll her eyes.

"Those idiots, at least I don't have them in my house." She spoke, sounding horrified. I can't help a small laugh at that. "Well whatever, meet me in 20, we'll drive together." I say, closing the phone.

I grab my favorite ripped skinny jeans and a black close fitting t-shirt with a band logo. I used to wear loose jeans and plain tops religiously, but Isabelle had made me stop when she flat out told me she refused to be seen in public with me, unless I bought a whole new wardrobe. I roll my eyes at the memory of the huge shopping spree that followed, using up all of my birthday money. I'm honestly just lucky I got away with jeans instead of a closet-full of heels and skirts. Oh well, not much you can do when Isabelle Lightwood is your best friend.

Barely sparing a moment on my hair, I settle with a long red braid that reaches my torso, stopping myself from doing two braids and sparing myself from the Pippi puns that will undoubtedly be cracked by Jace. I really need some degrading blonde comments for him and Jon.

I quickly wash my face and apply the powder and mascara that Isabelle insists I wear. After I finish, I stop to eye my reflection in the mirror.

Pale complexion, bright red hair, and huge emerald eyes stare back at me. Not unbearably attractive, but the most I can do for now. I grab my messenger back, phone and a pair of socks and make it downstairs. Everybody else is sprawled across the couches and the rug in the living room, watching some movie. I throw on my worn purple converse and open the door to find Isabelle already standing there, looking as impatient and as beautiful as ever.

Honestly, in what world was Isabelle not perfectly put together? Even though she's usually the one out of the both of us who sleeps in far too late, her hair is still perfect and shiny, falling to her waist. Her pale as cream complexion is perfectly made up, and even one of her simplest outfits made her look like a model. Seriously, as if my self esteem isn't low enough already. Her coloring and hair matched that of her sibling Alec's, although her eyes are a warm brown instead of ice blue. Isabelle is one of the most sought after girls in our school, and it's still hilarious to watch every single guy fall for her while she's busy making googly eyes at my nerd of a best friend, Simon. Oh, the sweet irony.

"I swear to every lord there is Clarissa, you're sole purpose in life is to get me fired." Isabelle snaps, narrowing her eyes. I stick my tongue out at her, fumbling for my keys.

"Glad to know my best friend appreciates me so much." I snap back, not completely hiding my grin. Ah, I love her rude ass. She give me a smile back, and I quickly turn back to Jonathan before leaving. "I'll be back at three, try not to wake up Mom and Dad; you know had Dad gets when he's woken up early." I tell him.

"Yeah yeah yeah." He mumbles through his mouthful of yet another bowl of cereal, his eyes not leaving what looks like Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. Shame, if I wasn't running late I'd stay to drool over Tom Cruise for a bit, but Isabelle is close to physically dragging me out the door.

"I swear Clary, if he cuts our pay because of you I will cut you into pieces and serve your remains as cubes in the iced coffee." Did I mention she could be scarier then every single exorcism movie combined? Yeah, that's Isabelle Lightwood for you.

"Are you gonna use your stilettos to do it?" I snort, eyeing her shoes. She actually went with a sensible 5 inch wedge today (At least sensible in Isabelle world), but I still had no idea how she didn't fall over, considering she can't sit still for more then five seconds.

Isabelle throws me a wink before jumping into the old convertible dad and I had fixed up for me to use. It's practically vintage, but a new engine and a shiny white paint job had turned it into Isabelle's envy for a good six months before she got her own car. I swear she's still plotting to steal it.

Starting up the engine, I pull onto the street and pray we can make it on time- that sparkly son of a bitch would use any excuse to cut our pay for the day.

Not even five seconds later, she asks the daily question. "So, have you talked to Simon?" She's desperately trying to play it cool- and oh so badly failing. Poor girl sounds like a 13 year old who just asked there friend to find out if the their crush likes them.

Yeah, Isabelle is that much in love. Simon and Isabelle had become friends through me, and both have been awkwardly gravitating around each other through their friendships with me. Although, Isabelle had recently confessed she's been in love with him for the past three months. And hadn't told him anything yet. I had been ecstatic when she told me, but then she would not _shut up_ about him. Literally, half of our conversations are now about dissecting every single word he's ever said to her. She had even stooped so low that when Simon greeted her with a 'hey' instead of his usual 'hello', she had started wailing about him losing his interest until I had threatened to kick her out of my house unless she shut up.

Oh and the best part? The second she left I would have to start the whole process over again, this time with Simon. Yup, he was as in love with her as I was in love with Oreos (Don't judge, we've been in a long relationship for a while and things are going good). Those two had been secretly in love wit each other for ages, but the idiots had forbidden me of telling the other, afraid that they might be rejected. Oh, those two wonderful idiots.

Of course, I had been hinting at it ever since I had found out Isabelle had feelings for him too; Simon had been in love with her since he had first laid eyes on her, but Isabelle had just recently told me. I thought it was the cutest thing and tried my hardest to get them together, but Simon was way too shy and Isabelle kept insisting that he should make the first move. Honestly, those two were going to reach 80 and adopt several cats each before one of them stepped up. Although, I'm so not giving up on them getting together; their kids would be adorable and smart, and if I was gonna be an aunt I might as well be proud, considering a crazy cat lady was my current future plan and any spawn of Jonathan's would likely be more evil then him. Oh well, hopefully Simon's gonna grow a pair soon and ask her out, because I'm not sure how much more of this pining and whining I can stand.

"Oh come on Izzy, he's one of my best friends. I talk to him everyday. And unless you're interested in Simon's rant about League of Legends, there's nothing that's not mind numbingly boring." _Expect for the fact that the rant was about how your hair shines like a black waterfall, not League of Legends_ I add silently. God, I wish I could tell them both so bad, but my stupid guilty conscience stops me. Well, you could always just by them a really nice wedding present, they wouldn't mind…

I sigh to myself, knowing I can't; I had to let them figure there way out of this twisted mess by themselves.

I pull up to Java Jones 3 minutes before we're late, and Isabelle and I waste no time in getting inside quickly. Magnus is running around like a chicken with his head cut off. Well, a loud and particularly shiny chicken with his head cut off. He may be the manager, but Magnus toned down his wardrobe for no one. He looks up, fixing his cat like eyes on us. He's distinctly Chinese looking, but sports deep tan, which was most of the time covered in sparkles. His jet black hair is spiked up into different colors such as neon green and dark purple, and dark gold eyeliner rings his eye in a Cleopatra fashion.

Needless to say, he is the most fabulous person you could ever meet. Although at this moment he doesn't look fabulous, despite the leather pants and glittery vest; he looks furious.

He strides toward us, although how he manages to move in those leather pants is a mystery to even the world's greatest thinkers. "Where have you two been?! I've been trying to manage all these tables by myself, and it seems even being as incredibly handsome and charming as I am, I still can't split myself into two teenage girls. Which brings us right back around to, where the hell have you two been?!" Magnus seems pretty pissed, so I take a step back and glance around to make sure there are no things around that Magnus can throw.

"Well to be fair Magnus, we actually are here before we are scheduled to start, so you shouldn't really be mad at us, because technically we didn't do anything wrong." I try to reason, Isabelle nodding vigorously along in the background. He doesn't seem to like my argument, and strongly resembles a glittering tornado that had sucked up Sephora and was now on its way to kill your family.

"And I also remember telling you two that arriving at the last second is something I loathe, especially on days where THE WHOLE CAFÉ IS SWAMPED WITH CAFFEINE CONSUMING SUBURBAN ROBOTS!." Magnus screams the last part at us, and I'm shocked that the entire cafe doesn't look over. Wow. Maybe they all actually are robots.

"Oh come on Magnus, we're here now!" Isabelle jumps forward in her best attempt to distract him from incinerating me. "The more time you're spending yelling at us, the more impatient your mindless robots of customers get." I silently pray for Isabelle's persuasion to work. I really do not need a pay cut right now; gas is more expensive then a nose job these days. Magnus gives us two final glares and flicks his wrist, the universal motion for 'get out of my sight before I throw up on shoes that are more expensive then your souls'. Isabelle and I squeak a final apology before we run into the back room and quickly throw on our aprons and grab our notepads. Taking our respective sectors, we quickly made our way to tables.

I approached a couple, smiling at each other from across the table. I plaster on the smile I reserve for customers, relatives, and police interrogations, (You know, just in case I don't hide Jonathan's remains in time) and take out my notepad. I notice the slight blush across the girls face and the shy smile on the boys face, and I swear I hear the imaginary crowd in my mind collectively 'awe' as the 30 year old in gray sweatpants clutching a cat who resides inside my soul sobs because I'm still pitifully. I start taking the couples order, and I can't help thinking, this is going to be a long day.

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><p><strong>OKAY QUICK BREAKDOWN <strong>

**I actually wrote this story about a year ago, and I had six chapters of it up. Then six months ago, I put it on hiatus because I realized the plot was an entire mess, the writing was horrible and I had no idea what to do with this story, but I didn't want to delete it. So I put it aside, and decided I would eventually do a re-write when I'm done with my other stories. However, I was looking through FF today and decided since I was gonna re-write this story anyways, I might as well delete all the chapters besides the first (you know, so that I could keep all of the reviews and favs so people would know it's this story when I do my re-write). However, I didn't realize that fanfiction posts your story at the top of the update list when you delete a chapter, and when I did I panicked, mostly because I don't want people to read a random chapter that was written really badly. So I jumped online and quickly edited this chapter so it's better writing and fits the plot I'm using for my re-write. **

**So long story short, here's the improvised first chapter for the re-write of Expect the Unexpected. I will not be posting the re-write until I'm done with my two other fan fictions because that was my original plan, so I'm sorry! Don't expect anything for a few months! So, if you like this story, follow it or follow me so that in a month or two you'll know when I'll begin the re-write and update normally. In the mean time if you like my writing, check out my other two fan fictions that are well underway :) Thank you all, so so much! I'm so sorry for all of the confusion! I love all my readers!**

**-Madeline**


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